Take a 10 Second Break from Anger!

Expressing that anger is a human emotion and there is anger in everyone, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the important thing is to grind the anger. Expressing that anger is a human emotion and there is anger in everyone, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the important thing is to grind the anger. Noting that people who manage to grind anger can turn this situation into gain and energy, Prof. Dr. Tarhan reminded that taking a break for 10 seconds in case of anger is also a good method in anger control. Adding that anger management training is important in violence against women, Tarhan said, “Prison should be the last resort here. These people need to be trained especially on empathy. Imprisonment is not the solution, healing is the solution.” used his statements.

In the moment of anger, the mind falls into the background!

Stating that there is anger control disorder in the background of issues related to violence, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the foundations of this problem were laid in childhood. Comparing anger to fire, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “When a fire breaks out, you immediately intervene in the fire. First, 'Why did the fire break out and why is this place burning?' you don't say. You put out the fire as soon as possible. The cause of the fire is later investigated. Measures are taken immediately. It is necessary to show the same behavior in anger.” said. Expressing that the upper brain control of a person is impaired in anger, Tarhan said, “In the moment of anger, the mind falls into the background. The use of the mind is blocked, there are some who call this situation insanity. The best medicine for anger is to be able to push that emotion at that moment.”

Why does anger arise?

Noting that some people are calm, some are not angry, some are angry and some are very angry, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Personality structure is important here. In anger control, it is observed that there are mostly reasons such as deterioration in human relations, legal problems, and financial losses. We can see those who damage their belongings because of anger. Anger affects a person's work and work efficiency. It's detrimental to his health, and it provokes feelings of guilt in the first place." said.

Stating that the feeling of anger leads the person to violent behavior, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Generally, violence against animals is seen as hurting oneself by punching a wall. Then there is violence against other people.”

Looking back on anger management issues

Stating that the past of the person who cannot control his anger is looked at, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, “Does the person have a history of violent behavior? Do you have a dangerous driving situation? Does he see violence as a method of problem solving and seeking justice? Research is being conducted to see if there is a victim, and if there is always the same person.” said.

There's no harsh manners!

Stating that, unfortunately, there is an aspect of violence that is approved from time to time in the world and in our country, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “There was a tradition of whipping boys in England. In the royal family, when their own children made a mistake, they would go and beat the poor children who were kept as whipping boys. Thus, it is ensured that the child learns from his mistake. That's where the term whipping boy comes from. A wrong method used in education. Later, this method is removed because it is against human rights. There is a part of us that culturally approves of violence. There is a proverb that says 'He who does not beat his daughter will beat his knee'. These are situations that do not fit the traditions of this time. Attempting to discipline the child violently is now an invalid method.”

Mocking and humiliation is also violence...

Expressing that violence can be physical as well as emotional, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The person exposed to violence feels humiliated and worthless. He feels that he has been treated unfairly. Sarcastic behavior and words are also a form of violence. Humiliation in public is a form of violence. A child who is constantly teased thinks that when he grows up, he is fed with hostility by the environment. He sees everyone as an enemy and always acts in fear. A judgment is automatically formed here.” he said.

If there is no justice in the family, violence will occur.

Emphasizing the importance of the concept of justice in the family, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “If a child is treated unfairly in an unjust home environment, if he/she is treated well but his/her sibling is treated badly, he/she thinks that discrimination is made. The sense of justice in the child is damaged. In such cases, the person feels excluded and humiliated. Confidence weakens. He thinks that he is not loved and ignored at home. Anger develops against his parents. It is not surprising to expect violence in families where there is no justice. Unfortunately, one of the reasons why violence is so prevalent in our society is that we do not care about domestic justice at all.” said.

Attention! Children learn about violence at home.

Expressing that violence is learned at home, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The living violence that affects the child the most is the violence between the mother and the father. If the father says, "Are you going to hit it," when something happens, the child models it. He learns by seeing violence.” warned.

Parents should be generous with love

Noting that parents should give love to the child first, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Parents should be generous with love. It must have a life and a story. We had one patient. We asked her to talk about positive things from her past childhood. Unfortunately, he could not tell a single life. The person always remembers the negative life. 'I did not have a positive life with my family. I have always been criticized. "There is no physical violence, there is verbal violence," he said. Unfair criticism is the greatest violence. If you insult a person, a child will turn to violence if he does not have the ability to verbalize.” warned.

Social peace requires global justice

Noting that there are many reasons for violence, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Income level injustice in the society is the cause of violence. Social turmoil is the cause of violence. There is no basic sense of trust. Poverty is not a direct cause of violence, but inequality of income distribution is a cause of violence. Discrimination in the family or society strongly supports violence. If we do not want violence, we must keep justice as a high value in the family and society. Therefore, global justice is required for social peace.” said.

Depression may be behind anger management

Noting that men's and women's brains react differently under stress, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The female brain reacts by crying under stress. The male brain, on the other hand, reacts with anger under stress. A man may have depression under his anger control. Angry people can have latent depression and covert depression. When these people are treated with anti-depressants, the violence ends.” said.

10 second break from anger...

Stating that they recommend applying some methods in anger control, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “We can suggest a way to take a break. We recommend counting to 10. Anger is a visible and expressive emotion. The emotion in the background of anger is exclusion, humiliation. The person projects outward as anger.” said.

Anger must be grinded into gain

Noting that anger is not suppressed and destroyed, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Anger is ground up. You will take the anger, you will grind it, you will turn it into gain. There are no people without anger. Everyone has anger in them. Some grind that anger, some turn it into energy. For example, he can say no to the person he is angry with. 'I don't think like you do about it,' he says. In this regard, if the person develops a mental strategy as a problem-solving style, if he is able to express himself, if he can express himself verbally, why would he resort to anger? said. Stating that the lack of empathy can also cause anger, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “A person must first apply the mental paradigm of stop, think and do. Because in anger, the person usually does first and then thinks. So it's getting too late. The lack of empathy is also very important in anger.” said.

Imprisonment is not the solution, healing is the solution…

Underlining the need to provide anger management training in violence against women, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “This is how violence is dealt with in the world. We are trying to find a solution with prisons here. Jail should be the last resort here. These people need to be trained especially on empathy. Imprisonment is not the solution, healing is the solution. They need to strengthen their empathy and receive treatment as a group.”