Perfectionistic Parenting and Its Effects on Child Development
Perfectionist parenting is an attitude that significantly affects children's development. Many parents want their children to be successful, disciplined and perfect in every area. However, when these expectations are excessive, they can put pressure on children and lead to psychological problems. Experts state that this type of parenting can cause negative consequences such as anxiety, lack of self-confidence and fear of failure in children.
Project Kids: The Result of Perfectionist Expectations
Some parents see their children as 'project children' and direct them to achieve their own dreams. This creates a feeling that children need to be the best in every field. For example, children who are expected to participate in many activities such as piano, ballet or theater may ignore their own desires over time. Such pressures can cause children to have difficulty in achieving their own dreams in the future.
Psychological Roots of Perfectionistic Expectations
There are many psychological and social factors behind perfectionist parenting. Parents who did not receive enough appreciation or had a fear of failure in their own childhood may unconsciously reflect this situation on their children. In addition, parents may perceive their children's success as an indicator of their own parenting and perceive this success as a source of security.
- Children's achievements can become a means for parents to increase their own social status.
- Modern education systems often evaluate children's achievements through exam grades.
- Social media can cause parents to feel more pressured by comparison with other families.
Negative Effects of High Expectations on Children
Individuals who are constantly told they must be the best in childhood may tend to measure their own worth by their successes as adults. This can make them feel inadequate when they fail. Children can experience fear of making mistakes under the pressure to be the best all the time, which can create limitations in their careers and personal development.
Things to Consider During the Learning Process
There is an important distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in the educational process. Intrinsic motivation comes from really wanting to learn something, while extrinsic motivation is based on a reward or punishment system. A child who only studies to get high grades may begin to see the learning process as a necessity. This can dull the sense of curiosity.
- Children who focus solely on grades may have difficulty developing creative thinking and critical analysis skills.
- Appreciating children's efforts and development supports their learning process.
Providing Unconditional Love and Support to Children
Families who want to change perfectionist parenting attitudes should offer their children unconditional love and acceptance. It is necessary to accept the child's strengths and weaknesses and avoid comparing them to other children. It is important to try to understand the children's interests and direct them to activities that will help them develop in these areas.
- Give your children confidence and a process-oriented perspective.
- Appreciate their efforts; for example, use phrases like, “You put in a lot of effort to complete this project. Your efforts are greatly appreciated!”
- When they make mistakes, explain that it is part of the learning process.
- Show that it's okay to make mistakes by sharing your own.
Ultimately, children need to feel valued for who they are, not just for their accomplishments. It is critical for parents to understand the stress, anxiety, or fear of failure that their children are experiencing for their emotional development. This type of approach will help children experience healthy psychological development while increasing their self-confidence.
