Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi provided important information on the subject. Human relationships are an area where we mutually support each other and establish deep bonds. However, sometimes these bonds may not be as equal and healthy as they seem. Some people take on a strong and confident role in their relationships because they are afraid of their inner weaknesses being noticed. Although they may seem like “saviors” who support and guide others from the outside, this attitude may actually be an effort to hide their own weaknesses. So, what is the effect of this effort on us and our relationships? And how can we get out of this cycle?
Why do we want to appear strong?
It’s not always easy to show our weaknesses to others. Society tends to view weaknesses as weaknesses, while praising being strong, confident, and independent. However, this pressure often leads us to run away from ourselves. We take on a strong role to hide our weaknesses from others. This role not only deceives others, but also deceives us: “If I appear strong, no one will notice my shortcomings.”
What do we lose when we hide ourselves?
This effort to appear strong can harm both the individual's inner world and their relationships.
• Alienation from yourself: Wearing a mask all the time causes you to suppress your true feelings and needs. Instead of accepting your weaknesses, you ignore them. This leads to emotional burnout.
• Deterioration of Relationship Dynamics: Taking on the role of savior pushes the other party into a passive position. When you are strong, the other person always seems to need help. This kind of imbalance prevents a healthy relationship.
Why is it important to admit our weaknesses?
Our weaknesses are part of our humanity. Accepting them not only helps us live more authentic lives, but also helps us have more genuine and equal relationships. When we accept our own weaknesses, we become more compassionate toward the weaknesses of others.
How do we liberate ourselves?
• Notice Your Emotions: Identify the emotions that trigger your need to appear strong. Facing your fears is the first step to breaking out of this cycle.
• Share Your Weaknesses: Share your weaknesses with people you trust. This will add new depth and intimacy to your relationships.
• Accept Your Own Limitations: No one has to be strong all the time. Allow yourself to need help; it's part of being human.
Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi said, "Remember! Real power lies not in trying to appear strong, but in bravely accepting your own fragility. This courage can bring a healing touch to both yourself and your relationships. Before trying to save others, dare to look at your own wounds. Because healthy relationships are born from authentic connections, not masks."
