Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi provided important information on the subject. Love, one of the most basic emotions in life, can sometimes trigger our greatest happiness and sometimes our deepest pain. Especially for people who have been betrayed, made to feel worthless or hurt before, love is identified with fear due to the possibility of a new injury that will occur in the next step. Although this fear sometimes functions as an internal defense mechanism and seems to protect the person, it actually distances them from “living” and fulfilling the heart’s inner desires.
Fear of love is basically fed by the question, “Will I experience the same pain again?” This question weakens courage over time and can push a woman to withdraw emotionally. However, acting bravely does not always guarantee only positive results; sometimes it can produce the same, sometimes completely different results. The important thing is to be able to listen to the call of the heart despite the risk and give ourselves the chance to live the potential that life offers. Because giving up on life and love in order to protect oneself from possible pain can lead to a deeper void in the long run.
Courage is not “not being afraid” but taking a step despite fear. A wounded heart’s ability to love again begins with allowing itself to heal. Of course, during this process, we should not forget the lessons of past experiences. Setting healthy boundaries and learning how to build trust are very valuable steps in preparing to love again. However, these boundaries should not be confused with choosing not to let anyone into our hearts. The real goal is to build a world of emotions that will hold ourselves strong while embracing life with passion.
Despite the uncertainties that love and life bring, continuing on the path is possible by rediscovering one’s own inner resources. The wounds experienced can be a means for growth and recognizing unknown aspects of ourselves. Wounded hearts are perhaps the ones who need the courage to love again the most; because even if they have experienced the dark side of love, they know that if they can pass through this darkness, they can continue on their path with a stronger self.
Fear of love is often fed by the traces left on us by past negative experiences. In order to confront this fear and dare to love again, it is necessary to first focus on Self-Awareness Exercises. As a person becomes aware of their emotional needs and past traumas, they understand their own vulnerability better and thus prepare a stronger foundation for love.
Another important step is to discover the Ways to Build Trust. The trust we have in ourselves and in the other person alleviates our anxiety and supports the courage within us. In this process, honest communication, setting healthy boundaries and gaining experience with small steps are the main factors that reinforce the feeling of trust.
Finally, embracing the principle of Self-Allowance allows us to live in acceptance of fear rather than denial. This approach allows us to understand and grow with the anxiety that accompanies fear. In this way, one can nurture the courage that sprouts in one’s heart and refocus on love, one step closer to experiencing the transformative power of love.
Expert Clinical Psychologist Aslı Kanizi said, “Remember, loving and loving again is a choice; even though this choice sometimes reveals our vulnerability, it is an important part of embracing the whole of life. It will always be more satisfying to learn and grow by continuing bravely, rather than leaving our own life story incomplete while trying to protect ourselves from fear.”
