Separate School Excitement from Worry

A very short time before the opening of the schools, all families and their children are in a sweet rush again. There are also those who will be starting school for the first time this year. The rush and excitement of them and their families is even more different; They are about to begin a very important period in their lives. So, what kind of duties do families have in order to get through this period as healthily and smoothly as possible? Clinical Psychologist Gülşah Ergin from DBE Behavioral Sciences Institute shared what families can do to prevent school excitement from turning into anxiety.

During the long pandemic period, all families and students waited for the day when schools would reopen under normal conditions. It is foreseen that schools will be opened to face-to-face education under the current conditions, and both students and families have started preparations. Those who are most affected by these preparations are undoubtedly the little student candidates who will go to school for the first time. Families can ensure that the little ones start a healthy and happy education life by managing the school starting processes correctly.

Clinical Psychologist Gülşah Ergin from DBE Behavioral Sciences Institute stated that it is very important for parents to stay calm and avoid tension before children start school, and pointed out that parents' emotional state is reflected in children. Ergin says, “The child of a parent who seems in a hurry and constantly tries to check if everything is okay, can easily receive the message "There is something to be worried about" or the child of a parent who constantly says that he should not be afraid at school, "So school is a place to be afraid of". He can begin to experience these feelings himself. At this point, it is very important for parents to be calm and able to control their anxiety.”

Communication is the most important key

Clinical Psychologist Gülşah Ergin stated that before starting school, it would be very beneficial to give children realistic information about the school and the teacher, to explain how their day at school would go, and to visit the school in advance. Ergin said that when children get full and sufficient information, their anxiety level also decreases, adding that being informed will enable the child to know what to expect and to relax. Ergin said, “Having pleasant shopping together for school clothes and stationery needs, giving the child the chance to choose, will again encourage the child for school and develop positive feelings and thoughts about school in the child.” Gülşah Ergin listed the things to do on and before the first day of school as follows:

In order to start school more prepared, the school order can be applied 1 week in advance. Thus, the child will get used to that order on the first day of school, and this will make the first day even more normal for him and reduce his stress.

It will also be beneficial to spend the first day of school as a normal and ordinary day as much as possible. Making preparations for the first day that may make them feel unusual can cause uneasiness and stress in children. By asking them what they want to eat for breakfast and helping them get ready for school, they can start the day in a pleasant way.

When you go to school, you can first take a short tour around the school and encourage them to say "hello" to their friends.

Beware of separation anxiety

Clinical Psychologist Gülşah Ergin stated that most of the children experience separation anxiety in the first days of school and this situation may be seen even more in children who will start school this year, especially since they have the chance to spend more time with their parents during a long pandemic process. Emphasizing that families can wait at school in the first days of school and then the gradual distancing method can be used, Ergin said: “Parents who used to stay in a place where they can see the child while they are in class, then leave gradually by waiting in the corridor and then at the garden gate of the school, and this situation is explained to their children beforehand. explaining, they should also get used to it. Saying goodbye is very important for children with separation anxiety to cope with this situation in a healthy way. Goodbyes should be short and unemotional. After the child is safely released into the classroom, kiss and hug, explain where we will be waiting for him or where and when we will meet him, and leave the classroom by saying "goodbye". At this point, it is very important that parents do not make the goodbyes pathetic.”

According to Ergin, it should not be forgotten that the biggest criterion in the child's readiness to be left alone at school is the feeling of “trust”. The child is ready to be alone at school when he develops a sense of trust in the school and his teacher. Children who are left alone at school before this feeling develops are more likely to experience separation anxiety and its negative effects in a more intense and traumatic way. In addition, it should not be forgotten that the parent-school and parent-teacher relationship is very important from the first day, and when necessary, mutual information should be provided both in the adaptation phase and in the further stages, and cooperation should be made in harmony.